Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Life sucks and then you die

Today I had the pleasure of once again feeling my body dragged into Pioneer Comprehensive Medical for a series of tests and analizations that will further determine the fact that all my hormones are severely screwed up.
I sit in the dim little patient's room. It is supposively pleasant because it is painted royal purple using the statistics of Color Therapy; personally I think it a product of bad taste or even colorblindness. Dr. Terina comes in wearing a white suit with a slit much too high for a woman her age, sits down, crosses her legs, consults her clipboard, and asks me several extremely personal questions which I can't answer. Her watery blue eyes bore into my head and I stare at the floor.
"Your testosterone is a little low. Your thyroid is a little low. Your estrogen is a little low."
As Terina continues to explain all the deficiencies in me, my mother will casually cut in with:
"Yes. I would definitely say that Joslynn has mood swings. Actually, she's like that all the time. No, I'm pretty sure she's depressed. Now, will that cream make acne better or worse?"

I hate having my blood drawn. Certainly, I am diabetic, and I do poke my fingers four times a day with a lancett, but there is something terrible about the flobotamist inserting a long needle into your arm. The nausea, the poke, the thought that there is a foreign object under my skin and in my vein, and that it is taking something out. I faint every time.
I have to go back to that wretched clinic next month, two days before my birthday. Supposively I have a wheat sensitivity. What? No bread, no crackers, no high carb foods. Now I will starve to death but I will still gain weight because of the medication that my mother sneakily slips into my water.
Humans get viruses. They grow old, they wither, they get cancer, they have heart attacks, they die.
There certainly is a great deal to live for in the future.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

nooooo joslynnn...
life gets better and better. you'll see once you leave the house. and don't forget, we ALL have hormone problems. i was there yesterday too. so I do indeed sympathize!

Anonymous said...

this is just like a classy myspace isn't it? same stuff, without all the trash. I like it!

Joslynn said...

I like it too.
And I will admit this post is a little bitter. Trust me folks, it's mostly for your entertainment. My true sentiments are much more positive.

Nedge said...

Well, now I have narrowed down the way I'm probably going to die to only a few things:
1) car accident
2) skin cancer
3) cancer
4) destruction of earth

Actually, I know, in a way, how you feel. Once a person (namely, an adult) finds out that I wear hearing aids, that I'm impaired, they immediately assume I'm stupid, or I won't understand them unless they speak slowly, and simply. Sometimes they openly talk of my disability, saying I will never be smart. I'm usually thinking in my head this: "My ears may be damaged, but not my arms. You keep going on like this, and you'll end up with a wedgie coming out of your ears, your lip pulled over your face and you swallow your head, and then you will be punched to oblivion." Yes, I think up impossible threats in my mind while adults assume the position of knowing everything about me and my "disability". Just watch the news...one day. One day they will have a story about someone on their trip to mars...not in a space ship, mind you.

Joslynn said...

You make me laugh so hard Natalie Edge!I think we should be friends.
I can identify with everything you've said. I can always sense when someone is going to question me about diabetes. I don't mind the educational questions, like, "how does your pump work?" and "what exactly is diabetes?" But when they pretend to be the concerned neighbor, or friend.... grrr... "How are your bloodsugars these days Joslynn?"
"Well, the last time I checked I was 113." Like they would even know what was normal!
Some people just need to back up and admit they don't know a thing.

Brittany said...

I don't know anything. I'm sorry about always asking what something means when you guys talk about it.

Anonymous said...

hey! i hope you know that when i ask about your diabetes, it is because i'm concerned. and curious. i hope it doesn't offend or make you feel like i'm pretending to care. but you should know that i'm not like that.
i'm sorry about you having to go in, i know that you loathe those doctors visits. i sure hope you don't have a wheat sensitivity. that would be super lame.

Anonymous said...

I love getting my blood taken! Probing metal in a blue vein..what more could a girl want ? Jos, let's plot against Trina. have any good murder ideas ? I also hate my hormone imbalances. So dumb.

Joslynn said...

We're all going to get cancer from taking hormones while we're young and then we're going to die anyway!!
Why can nobody else see this?