Keena's Kure

I have decided to reveal a startling new trend in modern medicine in which I have recently taken an interest. It is very sparsely known at this point in time, but my connections in the medical field have allowed me an early insight into the situation.
It began with Brooke Greenburg. She is a child frozen in time--though 12 years old, she still has the characteristics of an infant. Through many studies and tests, it has been discovered that little Brooke has an excess amount of DHEA in her system. Although slow growth may not be desirable in a human body, so-called scientist H.W. Keena at Stanford University realized the full potential that the anti-aging hormone, DHEA, could have on society. Through careful analysis and practical problem solving, this ingenious human has developed a monthly DHEA serum to inject in domestic animals. He is calling it, "Keena's Kure."
Now, don't get me wrong. I am not for animal testing, nor would I ever promote an institution that encouraged any morbid practices. This injection is intended specifically for cosmetic purposes. It has little or no side-effect on the creatures (it has only been tested on mammals: felines, canines, and nigripes) though it has been observed that the DHEA has an affect on metabolism and requires more caloric intake on the animal's part, as well as benign red spotting on the soft underbelly.
What does this all mean? I'll tell you. Frou Frou, your precious puppy, will never become a slobbering, smelly, fat, old Catahoula Bulldog, but will rather stay young and sweet forever. Or, more like, as long as you can afford the shots. They're pretty pricey over the black market, running at over $110 per dose.
This dramatic discovery will allow oodles of kittens and baskets of bunnies to stay young and darling for longer.
However, it must be clear that Keena will not turn the world into a perpetual Neverland where puppies and piggies never grow old. Remember, even though Brooke Greenburg looks like a baby, she is still twelve. DHEA will not prolong life, but rather enhance it with the joy and beauty of youth.
Or course, this drug has not been universally accepted in any country excepting Azerbaijan, where the empress has been injecting her pet panda for several months now. Because of certain animal rights activists, this miracle drug cannot be distributed on the market. This is ridiculous, of course, and I believe Terrier-loving Prime Minister Tony Blair should be slapped for his private claims that the injections are inhumane. The British have always been too closed minded when it comes to their dogs.
I for one vouch that as soon as I lay my hands upon a couple of syringes and a bottle of Keena's serum I will take a trip to the local pound and inject as many animals as I can. Their chances of adoption as babies is increased ten-fold. In fact, I have already begun recruiting members to join the Y.A.B.B.A. squad. It is an organization of individuals that will promote Young And Beautiful Babies Always.
Whether you agree with this practice or not, I would dearly love to hear your opinion. If you have any interest in joining Y.A.B.B.A., drop me a line.