I am an Ovaltine addict.
The vast quantities of this powdery and sometimes chalky beverage consumed by my family is an abnormal custom in almost every respect, but one which I enjoy immensely. In fact, I believe my life with Ovaltine as a daily ritual makes up for any lack of sugar I may have complained of in other areas of my diet.
Ovaltine has been shunned by society as a healthy form of hot chocolate, or as a mineral-enriched fortified drink for old people. No doubt this is because of the creepy commercials with the pedophile like Ovaltine man calling together a force of unattractive children who simultaneously chorus, "More Ovaltine please!" with just the perfect degree of cheesiness as to induce vomiting in the spectator. But Ovaltine doesn't usually have that effect on me. It's my comfort food.
I'm not the only crazy one around these parts either. One in ten people have heard of Ovaltine, and one in seventy-five actually like it. About half of the Ovaltine drinking population of Utah belongs to my family. Everybody else is extended or distantly related. In the rare occurence that I should meet a fellow Ovaltine fan, an instant connection is forged and an automatic friendship is inevitable. The easiest path to my heart? Drink Ovaltine.
Sunday nights are dedicated solely to Ovaltine drinking and classic cinema. I have another confession; I love masterpiece theater, and I watch it every week. Daniel Deronda, Wives and Daughters, The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, and Doctor Zhivago... My first taste of the classics came from KUED and a pitcher full of Ovaltine. Koseli and I would camp out on our living room floor and squeal over the gory Mysteries as we cuddled in our blankets.
Because of this I became an Ovaltine advocate; the first ever, and probably the last. Without any benefit to myself I began to promote this drink in the hope to spread health, happiness, and the intellectual stimulation that a delicious glass of frothy Ovaltine can stimulate. This is why the League of Ovaltineys was started, and why its legacy still lives on today. If you are curious about the advantages of drinking Ovaltine- over Nesquik or regular chocolate milk- just take a good look at me. I'm completely healthy, loaded to the brim with strong muscles, and practically the next Albert Einstein.
Who knew a ballyhooed and puffed up beverage could be so beneficial?
11 comments:
cheers my sweet!!! you've said it all.
What happened to ice?
Well I have never tried ovaltine before, but I'll tak your word for it. I will have to agree with you on the commercials. They were always a little to cheesy.
Well, well, well. I have something to confess. I've always been curious about Ovaltine, always wanted some...but, my family says "it's too expensive." So...I will buy my own someday. But on my quests, not unlike trying to find semi-permanent hair coloring, I cannot find it. My parents remember it tasting "real good," so I'm excited to find it and give it to them (and me) for Christmas!!!
You've never advocated Ovaltine to me!!! (Man, reading the word and trying to spell it makes me dizzy. I must've just spelled that last one wrong about fifteen times! Like Olvatnie)
Brenda: Ice makes a charging second, but it's just not the same.
Nat: I have been rather shy about my Olvatnie addiction. Nevermore.
A note to all: You are all officially invited to drink Ovaltine with me during any hour of the day or night. I am excited to see what a cozy cup of steamed chocolate milk and a fireside chat can procure. Genius, no doubt.
What is this blathering about Ovaltine?!
I've had the stuff. It's not spectacular. It's just chocolate milk.
I was going to tell you that I told my dad that I had some Ovaltine over at your house, and he this little grin crept onto his face. He said that he used to drink it all the time as a kid, and then imitated his child-self dumping spoonful after spoonful into an invisible glass. He'd forgotten all about that. Thanks for reminding him, it was cute.
There's an extra he in my previous comment somewhere. Consider it negated.
Britt: Done and done.
And I know Ovaltine is not spectacular. Hence the sarcasm. I guess I'm just not that good at it or something because nobody seems to sense the underlying humor of this post.
You fail, jeweler!
thanks--we now have two large containers of Ovaltine in our cupboard, and I feel obligated to drink it since we could not afford it way back when I was a kid. We only got it at my rich cousin's, and then my aunt would ration it. Now I mix it as thick as I want!
I had no idea my fetish could have such an effect!
Hopefully the Edge family can get through the Ovatine... two containers is a lot of drinking. Perhaps you should include it in your Christmas morning breakfast or your New Years festivities. That way it can be distributed evenly among many friends and family-- with no guilty feelings about rich cousins or wasted dollars.
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