I like a good bath.
On a frigid evening, a steamy, aromatic bathtub is a girl's most valuable weapon against illness, unhappiness, and discontent. Whenever I make the effort to bathe, I do it thoroughly. I draw my bathwater up to the brim and fill it with bubbles that thicken and foam under the faucet. I can often languish under tropical bathing conditions until my fingers shrivel and turn purple; my tolerance for such heat has accumulated over the years. For me it is a time of reflection-- a time for genius and enlightenment and epiphanies.
I started reading in the bath in fifth grade. Chasing Redbird was constantly weighing on my mind; this is evidenced by the wet fingerprints that have left permanent wrinkle-marks on its pages. I suppose that most people don't make a habit of multi-tasking. I've slowed down the novel-reading since I've started college, and now limit myself to obsessively reading the backs of shampoo bottles. It's not nearly as interesting, but it's all I have.
Despite this, every once in a great while I have the good fortune to stumble across comical gems of various shapes and sizes in my tub at school. Ordinary, inanimate objects often carry disguised humor under incredibly droll circumstances. Because of this, the bath has become a whimsical place for me.
For example, a shaving cream bottle I found on the left side of the tub:
St. Eden SPA
Ladies Shave Cream
Green with Envy
Prevent razor irritation
Soften hair and skin
Direction:
Moisten legs and apply to the area to be shaved. In a thin light film.
Shave with a wet razor. Rinsing it often. After shaving, Wash entire
area. Will not stain.
Warning: For external use only. Avoid contact with eye. If condition
worsens, consult a doctor.
KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN
Made in China
Needless to say, I had a nice solitary laugh in the bath when I picked up this bottle and started reading. I'm sure that anyone in the proximity who happened to hear me giggling thought I was going slightly mental.
Perhaps I am.
Or, maybe I just always was.
7 comments:
You always were. I love reading the container labels in the bath. They're so interesting to me. Hey, I may even end up doing that for a living.Have you noticed there's always like 20 ingredients in shampoo? And you can't pronounce any of them?
Yay! A new post!
Ha! When I first saw Chasing Redbird I thought Hey! That explains why it's really wrinkly! And then you addressed it a split second later. That was cool! Looks like we still share a brain. Take that law makers!
Speaking of shampoo ingredients, my summer chem professor told us once that a girl came in asking about an ingredient on her shampoo bottle called...now this is going to ruin the story because I can't remember.... anyways, it was a pretty foreign looking chemical name that he identified as clam mucas. She asked if he was serious. And he was. Remember that the next time you wash your hair.
Yeah for an update!
The bath sounds relaxing and delightful. Especially with how cold it's been outside that's a great way to get clean and warm.
You have baths up there? That disturbs me for some reason. And I swim in a pool full of snot everyday.
I read in the bathtub too! I thought I was the only one.
You have written down what the back of the shaving cream bottle says. Did you memorize it? Because I really like the idea of you walking over to the Lundstrum holding a Shaving Cream bottle and taking it in the computer lab to write us this funny story.
New post, new post! I'm sick of re-reading this one. It's stupid now.
For someone with your brain capacity, creative genius, and large amounts of free time...you don't blog nearly enough.
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