No Man's Land

I am an average American. I am an Earth abuser.

While walking on campus the other day, I noticed that the student body had taken upon itself the task of posting cardboard signs on the patio of the TSC. These signs were handwritten, and stated such facts as:

"Americans use 49 million diapers per day!!! Conserve!"

or

"Have you been drinking out of a plastic water bottle? It's plastic, NITWIT!!! Recycle it!!"

Further down the line, near the salt and pepper shakers were more signs.

"Napkins come from trees! Take ONE please!"

In case you missed the first one, there was another sign posted two feet away that read,

"YOU WASTE NAPKINS-- YOU WASTE TREES!!!!"

Though I hate to admit it, at this point I was feeling a little annoyed. Don't get me wrong-- I like our planet and think it should be kept in the best condition possible. However, I get a little tired of hearing the same news over and over again. Why don't we ever condemn the millions of people killing Panda Bears and rain forests while taking joyrides in their Range Rovers? Why do we glorify Rambo? Certainly he can take the enemy out with electrical wire and a bazooka, but he demolishes enormous trees with one blast of his machine gun in the process. How many napkins would it take to replace that precious tree, or the panda bear fearfully cowering in its branches? I'm sure that while directing "An Inconvenient Truth," Al Gore probably did not take into account that his $4 mocha latte in its plastic cup was probably contributing to that day's CO2 emissions.
I bet he recycles though.

For all our earnest efforts to stop global warming, America is still stigmatized as an extremely wasteful country-- a label we have no doubt earned. In Washington D.C. I stayed in an expensive hotel that had signs posted near every water spout exclaiming: SAVE THE EARTH. My initial thought was, "That's nice. But how?"
According to this $160 per night hotel, not washing my sheets, towels, and body is a good start.

"Millions of precious gallons of water are wasted everyday on room service..."

According to the statistics on the sign, the water wasted in washing millions of dead skin cells from my bedding is also the same water being stolen directly from the cupped hands of a dehydrated African child. I noticed the sign didn't say anything about the water used in their $20 pots of Earl Grey, nor did it denounce the thousands of plastic cups that are wastefully thrown into the garbage daily. Apparently that is a different kind of water.
I don't mind reusing a towel, but anyone who has seen an episode of CSI knows what resides on every hotel bed. If I am going to pay for room service, I WANT my sheets changed. The malnourished children will never know the difference.

Today I am wearing a shirt that says, "Save the Earth" across the chest. It's only a bit of a fad these days, but as I'm writing this blog I realize it is slightly hypocritical. I purchased the shirt at Old Navy for $3. It was probably assembled in mass quantities somewhere in China, transported by a ship or plane that belched out black smoke in the air or oil into the ocean, and eventually came to rest on my body. SAVE THE EARTH, it says. "Yes, this is a good cause," I thought, as I paid for it with my plastic card.

Tonight as I'm leaving the library I will play the part of the average American. I will finish up this Coke that I am drinking, belch carbon dioxide into the atmosphere, and throw the plastic bottle into the garbage.