Monday, September 25, 2006

A true Dogface

This is my tribute to all of Heaven's creations that never should have been conceived. We fear them because they are different. But surely on the inside they are just the same... Or are they?
This is Sam, possibly the most repugnant creature to grace God's planet.

As you can see, what Sam lacks in hair is made up in numerous goose pimples and warts. Below his neck hangs a flapping fold of flesh, and his crooked smile is crowned by a set of snaggle teeth.


Did I also mention he's going blind?

Owner Susie Lockheed is proud of her pet. She said, "People are always horrified when I kiss him. He may turn into a prince yet. He's definitely a toad."

Yes Susie. He most certainly is.

When I was first introduced to Sam, I, like many others, recoiled in fear but was soon drawn to him in morbid fascination. He looked like some kind of hideous beast that had been hit by a train and then wrung through a washing machine while simultaneously being beaten with a stick.
The owners of the other contestants in the World's Ugliest Dog Contest may have thought their pooches had a chance at winning - that is, until they saw Sam. He's so ugly the judges recoiled in shock when he was placed on their judging table to claim his winnings for the third consecutive year.
Surprise, surprise.
Although Sam has regretfully passed away, his monstrous legacy will live on and on.

5 comments:

Nedge said...

I, too, have followed Sam's fame. He is such a strange dog, that he facinates me. Sadly enough, I find him kind of cute, with a tuft of hair, and glowing eyeballs...not. :)

Nedge said...
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Brittany said...

This dog has a name? Now I've heard everything.

Joslynn said...

Dogs are people too!
I don't actually believe that, but for the sake of Sam... actually, he looks more like a gremlin than a dog. A genuine freak of nature, to express the matter gently.

Anonymous said...

that's one HOT DOG! HA! GET IT?!?!