Dear to the heart of the pretty.
Monday, November 05, 2012
Friday, October 26, 2012
Bunting and blankets.
These were seriously such a pain to make.
I get impatient, especially with scissors, so my triangles on the bunting and squares on the quilt were not exactly even. This caused problems for me later. I had all kinds of mishaps with my machine because I am really just re-learning how to use it. I had to thread that bobbin so many times I could do it in my sleep now. What a tangled, awful mess!
I am ashamed to say I was ornery and cussed more than I should during this time. And over such small things... The needle becoming unthreaded, my stitches swaying from one side to the next... I am no perfectionist but the number of misfortunes for this project made began to turn me batty.
The crowning frustration came when I accidentally sewed the quilt inside out. After crying about it for a couple days, I unpicked the stitches and re-did everything. I kind of hate this blanket now. Too bad. The Woodland Storyboek fabric is even more adorable in person than I imagined.
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
I get impatient, especially with scissors, so my triangles on the bunting and squares on the quilt were not exactly even. This caused problems for me later. I had all kinds of mishaps with my machine because I am really just re-learning how to use it. I had to thread that bobbin so many times I could do it in my sleep now. What a tangled, awful mess!
I am ashamed to say I was ornery and cussed more than I should during this time. And over such small things... The needle becoming unthreaded, my stitches swaying from one side to the next... I am no perfectionist but the number of misfortunes for this project made began to turn me batty.
The crowning frustration came when I accidentally sewed the quilt inside out. After crying about it for a couple days, I unpicked the stitches and re-did everything. I kind of hate this blanket now. Too bad. The Woodland Storyboek fabric is even more adorable in person than I imagined.
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
Emerson Flynn: a birth story.
When I woke up on October the fifteenth, I knew it would be your birthday.
It always seemed like such a mystery to me, your arrival. You could have come at any time. How many October fifteenths have I lived through, never suspecting it would be the day you would be born? It was a beautiful day. A good day.
I went to the hospital at 7:15 in the morning to be induced. The nurse was very kind to me. I was shaking and my blood pressure was high-- my heart raced. I was so scared to have you.
It was a long day, as you might imagine. I was never in terrible pain. Your papa was the biggest help with that. He stood by my side and held my hand for 15 hours, right up until the moment you came. I was so tired then. I heard you cry. I felt such profound relief and such grief. Having you was hard. You were such a big baby! I couldn't push you out on my own. The doctor used forceps and the vacuum and you still wouldn't come. Your papa said he saw your head. He said you had a lot of hair, and you did. I wanted to cry but I was too tired. The doctor had to do a c section after 13 hours of labor. I will never stop being sad that you were introduced to this beautiful world so violently.
You won't remember, but you were brave and cried far less than you had a right to while we healed.
When I saw you for the first time your chin was quivering and you were crying as the nurses weighed you on the scale. You were brand new, just taking your first breaths. You weighed ten pounds. You had a black eye and a bruise on the top of your head from the vacuum.
You were so beautiful.
I wondered where you came from, it seemed too impossibly amazing that you could exist. You are more wonderful than I ever could have hoped.
You were worth it.
I love you, Flynn.
It always seemed like such a mystery to me, your arrival. You could have come at any time. How many October fifteenths have I lived through, never suspecting it would be the day you would be born? It was a beautiful day. A good day.
I went to the hospital at 7:15 in the morning to be induced. The nurse was very kind to me. I was shaking and my blood pressure was high-- my heart raced. I was so scared to have you.
It was a long day, as you might imagine. I was never in terrible pain. Your papa was the biggest help with that. He stood by my side and held my hand for 15 hours, right up until the moment you came. I was so tired then. I heard you cry. I felt such profound relief and such grief. Having you was hard. You were such a big baby! I couldn't push you out on my own. The doctor used forceps and the vacuum and you still wouldn't come. Your papa said he saw your head. He said you had a lot of hair, and you did. I wanted to cry but I was too tired. The doctor had to do a c section after 13 hours of labor. I will never stop being sad that you were introduced to this beautiful world so violently.
You won't remember, but you were brave and cried far less than you had a right to while we healed.
When I saw you for the first time your chin was quivering and you were crying as the nurses weighed you on the scale. You were brand new, just taking your first breaths. You weighed ten pounds. You had a black eye and a bruise on the top of your head from the vacuum.
You were so beautiful.
I wondered where you came from, it seemed too impossibly amazing that you could exist. You are more wonderful than I ever could have hoped.
You were worth it.
I love you, Flynn.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Monday, October 01, 2012
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart)
I listened to my baby's heartbeat for twenty straight minutes today.
Because of the high risk of stillbirth in babies born to diabetic women, my doctor has ordered a bi-weekly, no-stress test. This means that I am hooked up to fetal monitors for almost half an hour while a machine records the heartbeat and movements of my baby.
The nurse placed the heart monitor on my belly in a random spot, and there it was. Almost embarrassingly loud. The whrr-whrr-whrr of a small heartbeat. It quickened with every kick. It slowed when I took deep breaths. I marveled at how attached this tiny person is to me, how my movements and emotions can guide his pulse. And yet he is also independent; I never commanded his heart to start beating. He did that all on his own.
My sister once pointed out that the most amazing point of her pregnancy came when she realized she carried not merely her own, but another heart inside her body. She had, in a sense, TWO hearts. While this realization made my brother feel queasy, I found it enlightening. I remember my first doctor's appointment well. I anxiously awaited that heartbeat, couldn't contain how dumbfounded I was to see its bright flash on the ultrasound screen and to hear its infinitesimal purr. It's a part of me that I can't control. It belongs to him but it is kept alive by me.
Mine but not me. Him but not his.
I love to hear it. It is the beautiful sound of reassurance.
I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay.
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
...
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
--e.e. Cummings
Tuesday, September 04, 2012
Eight months and counting.
Having a baby is no cakewalk.
All my life I wondered with vague curiosity what it would be like to be pregnant, to feel a hiccup or a swift kick to the rib from a baby. I imagined myself on the couch, huge, yelling for ice cream and pickles and complaining in loud angry tones about the pain in my back, the state of my skin, the disappearance of my ankles.
When I felt my baby move for the first time, I was surprised by how unsurprised I was. I felt the tiniest twinge in my abdomen, and I knew. It was like a miniature secret, just between Baby and me. He was there. I knew he existed and he knew, but no one else did. A tiny, magical little secret.
But then my secret started to grow I began to show. I passed people on the street who would give a double-take
glance at my stomach and then give me a knowing smile, like they knew something about me that I had still as yet failed to notice.
In my dreams my pregnant self began to make an appearance. "but I'm pregnant...aren't I?" seemed to culminate every dream, and I would wake up in great confusion with my baby kicking me awake in the ribs and an insatiable sweet tooth. My conversation with the hospital laboratory floated back to me--"The test was positive, you're sure?" the dry voice on the other end of the line responding again and again, "Yes dear, you are definitely pregnant."
You are definitely pregnant.
You are definitely pregnant.
Okay.
Despite my quick acceptance of the actual pregnancy, accepting my new body has been a much more difficult change. At 8 months of pregnancy I caught myself trying to squeeze into a size 4 dress in which I could not even slip my hips. The realization that I'm bigger is not depressing to me-- I'm pregnant after all-- but I do find myself confused, unable to remember what my figure was like when I could wear button up shirts without popping something with my enormous chest. And what was my tummy like? I honestly can't remember. I catch myself thinking, "it hasn't gotten too much bigger" before I remember I have a 4.5 pound baby in there. And then I see a photo of myself and wonder if my head really is that small or if my stomach really is that big.
And nothing, nothing in the world, scares me as much as labor and delivery. When it comes down to the moment, I wonder if I will lose my strength, give up, break down. When I think about how torn up a woman's body is after giving birth, I wonder how millions have done it, are doing it, can stand the pain of it and return for more.
"This is insane!" I've told myself again and again. "You are weak, weak, weak! You can never do this."
And then I feel a nudge in my rib, a tiny tickling of small hands inside. And I know that it is because of him that I can accept what is happening to me, the change, the discomfort, the insecurity. I am meant to bring him into the world and will do absolutely everything I can to fulfill that purpose.
You are definitely pregnant.
You are definitely pregnant.
You have created life; you have the power to do anything.
A tiny, magical secret.
All my life I wondered with vague curiosity what it would be like to be pregnant, to feel a hiccup or a swift kick to the rib from a baby. I imagined myself on the couch, huge, yelling for ice cream and pickles and complaining in loud angry tones about the pain in my back, the state of my skin, the disappearance of my ankles.
When I felt my baby move for the first time, I was surprised by how unsurprised I was. I felt the tiniest twinge in my abdomen, and I knew. It was like a miniature secret, just between Baby and me. He was there. I knew he existed and he knew, but no one else did. A tiny, magical little secret.
But then my secret started to grow I began to show. I passed people on the street who would give a double-take
glance at my stomach and then give me a knowing smile, like they knew something about me that I had still as yet failed to notice.
In my dreams my pregnant self began to make an appearance. "but I'm pregnant...aren't I?" seemed to culminate every dream, and I would wake up in great confusion with my baby kicking me awake in the ribs and an insatiable sweet tooth. My conversation with the hospital laboratory floated back to me--"The test was positive, you're sure?" the dry voice on the other end of the line responding again and again, "Yes dear, you are definitely pregnant."
You are definitely pregnant.
You are definitely pregnant.
Okay.
Despite my quick acceptance of the actual pregnancy, accepting my new body has been a much more difficult change. At 8 months of pregnancy I caught myself trying to squeeze into a size 4 dress in which I could not even slip my hips. The realization that I'm bigger is not depressing to me-- I'm pregnant after all-- but I do find myself confused, unable to remember what my figure was like when I could wear button up shirts without popping something with my enormous chest. And what was my tummy like? I honestly can't remember. I catch myself thinking, "it hasn't gotten too much bigger" before I remember I have a 4.5 pound baby in there. And then I see a photo of myself and wonder if my head really is that small or if my stomach really is that big.
And nothing, nothing in the world, scares me as much as labor and delivery. When it comes down to the moment, I wonder if I will lose my strength, give up, break down. When I think about how torn up a woman's body is after giving birth, I wonder how millions have done it, are doing it, can stand the pain of it and return for more.
"This is insane!" I've told myself again and again. "You are weak, weak, weak! You can never do this."
And then I feel a nudge in my rib, a tiny tickling of small hands inside. And I know that it is because of him that I can accept what is happening to me, the change, the discomfort, the insecurity. I am meant to bring him into the world and will do absolutely everything I can to fulfill that purpose.
You are definitely pregnant.
You are definitely pregnant.
You have created life; you have the power to do anything.
A tiny, magical secret.
Friday, August 31, 2012
What I've been making-- part three and quite possibly four or five.
Assembly of a nursery is no small thing if you are most women-- especially so if you are me.
We have virtually no money at all so I have had to be careful about what I buy. Almost everything in our house has been bought secondhand or donated by loving family members. There are many things that I wish I could buy, but even so I find myself completely content with what we have. Our little boy will be happy and comfortable and I'm proud of the way things have turned out.
First, the cloud mobile.
I bought some felt from Hobby Lobby and some stuffing and went to work. I hand-sewed everything because at the time I did not have a machine on hand.
We have virtually no money at all so I have had to be careful about what I buy. Almost everything in our house has been bought secondhand or donated by loving family members. There are many things that I wish I could buy, but even so I find myself completely content with what we have. Our little boy will be happy and comfortable and I'm proud of the way things have turned out.
First, the cloud mobile.
I bought some felt from Hobby Lobby and some stuffing and went to work. I hand-sewed everything because at the time I did not have a machine on hand.
Next I made some blankets. I found some really amazing organic cotton prints from Jay-Cyn Design. I messed up the first one and so I turned it into a baby duvet, reverse side is ivy-minky.
I had to hand sew the buttons and buttonholes too because I did not know how to do it on my machine... once again, a huge pain, but cute!
This blanket was much easier.
And here is a partial view of the nursery! It's difficult to get the whole room with just my phone.
We are getting closer and closer to the big day-- hard to believe. I'm not done with everything that I want to do (bunting, perhaps?) but I feel like if my baby comes, we at least have the essentials for him.
It's a good feeling.
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Wednesday Winston: a cattish talent.
Winston can sleep anywhere, at anytime.
With my growing discomfort, I only wish I could do the same.
With my growing discomfort, I only wish I could do the same.
Monday, July 16, 2012
How to make a toadstool.
I've been contemplating a nursery.
Because we are having a boy, I am trying to accommodate my taste with the understanding that I cannot design anything too girly.
My solution? Whimsical. I am going to design a forest nursery.
I have a few ideas I have not yet put into action, but this toadstool was the first to take a concrete shape. I haven't purchased a rocking chair yet, but this little beauty will rest my feet while I'm rockin' my baby.
I started with a plain wooden footstool from Michael's. It would be easy to make one of these on your own, but at $12, it wouldn't be much cheaper. I got a yard of plain red calico fabric, some white fabric spray paint, and a small bag of batting.
1. My stool was 10" in diameter so I cut out a 24" circle for my mushroom pouf.
2. Using a stencil (I used the inside of a roll of masking tape as my guide) paint the circles on your pouf. My circles splattered a little, so be careful!
3. Allow circles to dry. I also made a mistake here, only giving it about two hours. It probably needs 6-8 to dry completely. But if you're an impatient un-perfectionist like me, you can make do.
4. I don't have a staple gun, so I just used nails to attach my pouf to the chair. I started nailing, giving extra room for the stuffing. Put in a few nails and start packing that batting in there!
5. Nail down the opposite side of the fabric that you have already closed. Stuff the sides of the pouf and gradually continue nailing and stuffing until your pouf is rounded.
And that is it! Now you have a lovely little toadstool to rest your feet or for your toddler to perch!
Because we are having a boy, I am trying to accommodate my taste with the understanding that I cannot design anything too girly.
My solution? Whimsical. I am going to design a forest nursery.
I have a few ideas I have not yet put into action, but this toadstool was the first to take a concrete shape. I haven't purchased a rocking chair yet, but this little beauty will rest my feet while I'm rockin' my baby.
I started with a plain wooden footstool from Michael's. It would be easy to make one of these on your own, but at $12, it wouldn't be much cheaper. I got a yard of plain red calico fabric, some white fabric spray paint, and a small bag of batting.
1. My stool was 10" in diameter so I cut out a 24" circle for my mushroom pouf.
2. Using a stencil (I used the inside of a roll of masking tape as my guide) paint the circles on your pouf. My circles splattered a little, so be careful!
3. Allow circles to dry. I also made a mistake here, only giving it about two hours. It probably needs 6-8 to dry completely. But if you're an impatient un-perfectionist like me, you can make do.
4. I don't have a staple gun, so I just used nails to attach my pouf to the chair. I started nailing, giving extra room for the stuffing. Put in a few nails and start packing that batting in there!
5. Nail down the opposite side of the fabric that you have already closed. Stuff the sides of the pouf and gradually continue nailing and stuffing until your pouf is rounded.
And that is it! Now you have a lovely little toadstool to rest your feet or for your toddler to perch!
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Nesting.
This is what I have been doing, friends.
I made some lace lamps. And I wanted a crystal chandelier, so I made up how to make one.
(disclaimer: it turned out not to be much cheaper than buying one.)
I bought two wreath rings from hobby lobby and painted them silver. (You can find these in the flower arranging aisle. Roughly $3 each.) I also purchased 30 feet of fishing wire (maximum hold 30 pounds) from Walmart. The most difficult part of this project was finding crystals for a decent price. eBay and etsy are both bad choices for this. After several days of searching, the best-priced chandelier crystals came from this website.
http://www.save-on-crafts.com/
This website was the first I purchased from before I realized I would need more crystals. A lot more. I purchased 15 feet of the clear crystal garland but that was not nearly enough.
http://www.save-on-crafts.com/cr31.html
However, I found a slightly more expensive and prettier option here.
http://www.shabbyelegantdesigns.com/servlet/the-Chandelier-Crystals/Categories
This website was a relief to find. The crystals are fairly priced, and, even better, incredibly sparkly. The site also offers special discounts for crystals that are slightly flawed. I bought large teardrop crystals (25) and another 15 feet of bow-tied crystal rope. It was enough to cover my wreath hangers, but barely. Thus the expense of making your own.
Next, I hung the crystals on the wreath hangers. There are 4 wire slots on each hanger, so I alternated the crystals, being sure to mix up the two different kinds I had. The crystals are linked with bow clasps and wire, so I was able to divide them to achieve the lengths I desired. I hung the short chains on the little wreath and the long chains on the bigger wreath. I then attached the smaller wreath to the bigger one from the inside using fishing wire. This part was tricky as the crystals would slide out of position every time the wreath went off balance, so I recommend asking someone to hold it steady for you as you secure the fishing wire to 4 sides of your wreath so it can hang easily.
Voila! Hang a detachable light inside (ikea) and you've got yourself a super sparkly chandelier for about $55.
The lace lamp tutorial is here.
http://dosfamily.com/2011/01/lace-lamp/
I used an old curtain that I already had. If you want to use a bigger piece of material, be sure to cut it into the shape of small doilies to avoid bunching. My only other dilemma was being unable to find a large round balloon, as Logan does not have a party supply store. So my lamps turned out distinctly more egg-shaped. I would also recommend allowing your lamp to dry for two days before popping the balloon. These lamps were actually quite fun (and cheap!) to make, and could be a lovely party decoration replacement for paper lanterns.
I made some lace lamps. And I wanted a crystal chandelier, so I made up how to make one.
(disclaimer: it turned out not to be much cheaper than buying one.)
I bought two wreath rings from hobby lobby and painted them silver. (You can find these in the flower arranging aisle. Roughly $3 each.) I also purchased 30 feet of fishing wire (maximum hold 30 pounds) from Walmart. The most difficult part of this project was finding crystals for a decent price. eBay and etsy are both bad choices for this. After several days of searching, the best-priced chandelier crystals came from this website.
http://www.save-on-crafts.com/
This website was the first I purchased from before I realized I would need more crystals. A lot more. I purchased 15 feet of the clear crystal garland but that was not nearly enough.
http://www.save-on-crafts.com/cr31.html
However, I found a slightly more expensive and prettier option here.
http://www.shabbyelegantdesigns.com/servlet/the-Chandelier-Crystals/Categories
This website was a relief to find. The crystals are fairly priced, and, even better, incredibly sparkly. The site also offers special discounts for crystals that are slightly flawed. I bought large teardrop crystals (25) and another 15 feet of bow-tied crystal rope. It was enough to cover my wreath hangers, but barely. Thus the expense of making your own.
Next, I hung the crystals on the wreath hangers. There are 4 wire slots on each hanger, so I alternated the crystals, being sure to mix up the two different kinds I had. The crystals are linked with bow clasps and wire, so I was able to divide them to achieve the lengths I desired. I hung the short chains on the little wreath and the long chains on the bigger wreath. I then attached the smaller wreath to the bigger one from the inside using fishing wire. This part was tricky as the crystals would slide out of position every time the wreath went off balance, so I recommend asking someone to hold it steady for you as you secure the fishing wire to 4 sides of your wreath so it can hang easily.
Voila! Hang a detachable light inside (ikea) and you've got yourself a super sparkly chandelier for about $55.
The lace lamp tutorial is here.
http://dosfamily.com/2011/01/lace-lamp/
I used an old curtain that I already had. If you want to use a bigger piece of material, be sure to cut it into the shape of small doilies to avoid bunching. My only other dilemma was being unable to find a large round balloon, as Logan does not have a party supply store. So my lamps turned out distinctly more egg-shaped. I would also recommend allowing your lamp to dry for two days before popping the balloon. These lamps were actually quite fun (and cheap!) to make, and could be a lovely party decoration replacement for paper lanterns.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
25 weeks and counting.
At first it was imperceptible to me, but now I see the change.
My pants don't fit. My skirts don't fit. I ate six raspberry filled doughnuts in two days.
But I am bursting with happiness. With hope.
I already love this little boy. He is close to me, not just physically, but spiritually, emotionally. He kicks when my heart races. He relaxes when I lie down. He is a part of me.
It's a beautiful and terrifying thing.
I have discovered my little friend to be a very polite and convenient house guest. Considering the fact that I thought I had no room to harbor a child, he has wedged himself unpretentiously into my routine. I have been profoundly blessed to experience such an easy pregnancy.
I am getting very excited to meet him.
9 weeks
16 weeks
20 weeks
25 weeks
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Wednesday Winston: Colorful Kitties
Winston is a he-she.
Did you know that?
This is information from our local veterinarian and some google research.
Apparently, the colors in a cat's fur are dominant in the female genes. Because male cats do not have the extra x chromosome, they are genetically unable to inherit more than two colors from their parents. This is why male calico cats are extremely rare. And when they do exist, they are usually infertile.
This is Winston.
He is black, orange, gray, tawny, white, and chocolate brown.
He is a rare XXY.
He is very beautiful.
He is a male, but he has female chromosomes.
Therefore, he is a he-she.
Good job, Winsty's mom. Good job, Winsty.
Did you know that?
This is information from our local veterinarian and some google research.
Apparently, the colors in a cat's fur are dominant in the female genes. Because male cats do not have the extra x chromosome, they are genetically unable to inherit more than two colors from their parents. This is why male calico cats are extremely rare. And when they do exist, they are usually infertile.
This is Winston.
He is a rare XXY.
He is very beautiful.
He is a male, but he has female chromosomes.
Therefore, he is a he-she.
Good job, Winsty's mom. Good job, Winsty.
Thursday, April 26, 2012
What I've been buying...
It's not much of a secret that I'm a shopping addict.
An online shopping addict, that is.
Every time a box arrives at our front door, I go into transports of delight.
Wheeeeeeeee!
Logan doesn't have a whole lot to offer my wardrobe or my home, but the internet certainly does.
These are my latest favorites.
An online shopping addict, that is.
Every time a box arrives at our front door, I go into transports of delight.
Wheeeeeeeee!
Logan doesn't have a whole lot to offer my wardrobe or my home, but the internet certainly does.
These are my latest favorites.
Birdwatcher Knob from Anthropologie.
I got a whole dresser full of these little beauties for $3 each, retailing at $8.
This cardigan
and this cardigan from Darling.
I was so excited about these. I got them for $30 each, retail is at $80.
!!!
This cover for my phone, which actually works surprisingly well and gets lots and lots of compliments.
$5 and fresh from Korea, my friends.
I found this Gianni Bini dress in the junior's section of our local Dillards. And it is still there at yours! It was $28.98, retail at $78. It's actually longer than it looks in this picture (barely, but still wearable with garments) and a lot cuter. And... it's a perfect maternity dress.
Adorable Eiffel Tower Trinket flats from Anthropologie. $28, retail at $90.
Yes, it makes your hair feel disgusting. And yes, it really works. I have used this lovely little bottle of hair powder on my hair's greasy days (and not-so-greasy days) with wonderful, clean-looking and voluminous results. Plus, it's all natural.
That's all for now, folks. But there will be more.
Always.
Saturday, April 21, 2012
A fresh pair of eyes.
I arrived home from work one day and took a pregnancy test.
I am not pregnant. I know I'm not. I said it over and over in my head. I shook from head to toe and sat staring at the positive sign on the stick for a whole five minutes before I was able to emerge and tell Jason.
I'm pregnant. We are going to have a baby.
I cried. He said it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it will be okay.
I thought about this creature, this parasite, the source of my insatiable fatigue and constant nausea. I wondered how I would feel without it-- this second heart beating inside of me. Better than fine! I told myself stubbornly. You are not ready to have a baby. This baby shouldn't belong to you.
The next day I carried my secret like a dead weight. I felt it bursting from me. Fear, for myself and my health. Guilt, at my lack of gratitude. At any moment I felt I would explode and reveal everything, hoping to share the shock I felt with someone, anyone who would understand the complexity of my feelings.
Two nights later I had a terrible dream. In my dream, a tiny fetus opened its mouth wide and screamed.
I woke, my heart pounding, my mind racing. My baby! This is our baby-- mine and Jason's. It came to us, it needs us. Fear incited my more natural maternal instincts and for the first time since I knew of its existence, I wanted this creature, longed for it. And a confused Jason hugged me as I cried for fear of losing my little parasite.
We saw our baby for the first time when it was only nine weeks old and two centimeters long. On the ultrasound it kicked its legs and stretched its minuscule arms above its tiny head. Water ballet. An alien creature with a strong, healthy heartbeat.
It's real, and it's happening to us.
A miracle.
Things that are good and right have a way of timing themselves. Our plans for ourselves are often very different than what our actual future unfolds.
I feel peace and comfort in my burden. Excitement and anxiety at what it entails. Joy that I see reflected in my husband's face when we see our baby. Comfort in the knowledge that I was never alone, and now I physically never am.
Now never seemed like a good time for us to have a baby, but it was always right.
Wednesday, April 04, 2012
Wednesday Winston returns!
Sorry about the serious lack of posts.
Serious lack.
Things have been more than a little crazy around here. A general excuse, but one that will have to do for now.
In the meantime...
Serious lack.
Things have been more than a little crazy around here. A general excuse, but one that will have to do for now.
In the meantime...
... some exciting things are getting closer and closer.
Until then, my friends.
Wednesday, March 07, 2012
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